Water and Adaptability and Cracker Butt

Water. Don't take it for granted. Start conserving now. Worship it. Worship it's cleanliness. Worship it's abundance. Appreciate the fluoride in it. Pay your water bill with a big smile on your face.

Water in Fiji is an interesting thing. It is everywhere. It rains a little (sometimes a lot) pretty much every day. Very much like Hawaii in that respect. Pretty much everyone in my village of Lomanikoro has running water in their homes. But, then out of the blue, the running water will stop, sometimes for days at a time. Which means that unless you have a tank (many families do), or you have filled several buckets with water, then bathing is out of the question until the water pressure comes back. I don't know the rhyme or reason behind the stoppage (or the starting back up) - it just happens. As for drinking/cooking water, most people keep several bottles of water just for this purpose when it stops.

Consequently bathing has become, rather quickly, a luxury. It is hot enough even in the "cool, dry season" to become sweaty-sticky every day. There is a river which surrounds the village, but very few people bathe in it because no one is quite sure what goes into it. More accurately, people are unclear of how much of various waste products go into it. Some villages don't pretend - human waste goes directly into the river. Lots of garbage ends up in the river. The river around our village feeds into the Rewa river, which is a big river. More on the Rewa river later.

Adaptable - adjective ~ able to adjust to new conditions.

The novelty of being in Fiji was gone in about 4 days.

So, the overwhelming message of this particular entry has to do with our capacity for adaptability. All of the PCV's knew to ramp down our expectations, but I don't know that we really knew what we were coming into. It is impossible not to buy into the whole notion of the beauty of Fiji - and it is beautiful here. But, village life is so different. And city life is different here as well. Most of our group are young recent college grads. Some are a little older, and some of us are set in our ways. I think we thought we would miss different things than we miss. Maybe we thought we would miss "stuff", because there's not a lot of "stuff" here.

In talking with other volunteers, all seem to be adapting really quickly. All of us feel like we've been here a lot longer than two weeks. I spent four months on Kauai before I left and I already feel like I've been here longer than that. Not in a bad way. It's just that we are "in" it here. There is no buffer from the depth of the culture here. When traveling on vacation, or even adventure traveling, there has always been a cushion of some sort - perhaps it's simply the knowledge that I will return to my life in X number of days. That has been removed. For many of the PCV's, the possibility exists that we will never return to the life that we came from. If we are going to return, it won't be for over two years. So that mindset changes EVERYTHING.

I spoke with one volunteer who will be going home in July. She has been here two years and she can't wait to go home. She feels like so much of her previous identity has been compromised or lost. Much of that has to do (I think) with the fact she is a young woman. You cannot be any lower in the pecking order in Fiji than a young woman. For many of the natives, they don't know any different. For Americans, it's a whole different story. She longs to go home and reclaim the parts of herself that have been lost, or deeply suppressed during her time here. She doesn't have regrets. It's not like that. It's just being forced to live outside of the generous parameters that we have been provided in the US.

Yet, everyone adapts. The thing we all miss the most is privacy, and we will reclaim some of that once we receive our permanent site placements (in 5 weeks from now). No one complains about missing any stuff. We all have food that we miss. We all miss people. But I don't hear any grumbling about missing the pace or the lifestyle.

I don't think I have any fear of living in poverty anymore. I'm not saying I would choose it. It just doesn't hold the power it did before. I will be making a lot of value judgments in these entries and they are simply my own observations, mostly about self. I do not wish to offend - that's not what I mean to do. But I will question our culture in the US.

I had a conversation with one of my bosses from my last job the Friday before I left. He said "go out and change the world Matt, and in a couple of years you can come back to the real world". I had a slight visceral reaction to that statement then. The reaction I have now is clear. The world he referred to as being real feels almost entirely manufactured to me. Much of the world lives in these conditions. It's hard to explain what I'm trying to say. It will come with time and I will explain it.

My head is getting stretched, trying to get it around some of the things I am facing. Like, what is it that I really miss? Is it just familiarity? I know I miss some people. Even with skype and facebook and the web, it's not the same. Something is missing, but I can't place my finger on it. I'm sure it will come in due time. I am finding my way. I am not happy nor unhappy. I am not necessarily homesick. I know I found something in Kauai now. I know I'm not attracted to shiny. I love the ocean. I love the ocean.

Work. I am ready to work. I met with the Chief (just the 2 of us) for about 45 minutes on Friday morning and she was open and honest. It was a great conversation and I am looking forward to talking with her more as my time here goes on. One of her main concerns is the Rewa river, as so much garbage and waste goes directly into it. (Evidently the Nausori waste water treatment plant dumps into the river and no one is quite sure how treated that waste water is). I am hoping that I can continue to cultivate the discussion and learn what her hopes are and help fit the Peace Corps mission into that.

As for the rivers, let's just say that you very rarely see people swimming in them and it's not because the water is cold . . .

Another comment she made is that very few people read in Fiji. We were talking about books and I had just finished "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett (?). Great book by the way. Anyway, I went into Suva to see if I could find it for her (I have it on Kindle for my iPhone). Nope. There aren't any what we would consider conventional bookstores in Fiji. People evidently just don't read. There were 3 "bookstores" that I found and the one with the most books had some Clive Cussler (?) novels and some trashy stuff. Maybe 100 books total in the store? But virtually no selection, and no selection of books in fijian language. So I had to order it along with "Team of Rivals" about Abraham Lincoln for her from Amazon.

There is so much to do here, in so many different areas. For instance, the official stance of the Ministry of Health is that smoking marijuana causes schizophrenia. Period. End of story. Mental health issues are a huge source of shame for Fijian culture. Science is pushed aside in many areas, especially mental health. There are very few mental health clinicians in Fiji. On a bigger scale, many of the M.D.'s are leaving Fiji to go to other countries to earn more money, so there is a lack of continuity in the health field in general. I had my first placement interview this week and am pushing hard to get placed in Suva to work in the Ministry of Health. I would love to go stick my nose in the mental health stuff and make an attempt to change some of the conversations that are had.

Cracker Butt. My momma used to say I had a cracker (read: flat) butt. A skinny little white boy. Well, I wish I had a bigger butt because I spend (like everyone here) an inordinate amount of time sitting on my butt on the floor cross-legged. And it hurts. All the time. The Fijians don't have cracker butts. Fortunately, the churches have pews (a gift of the various missionaries that came here). Because, for instance, today I sat through a 2 hour and 45 minute methodist service, entirely done in Fijian. If only the pews were padded . . .

Guesswork. My guess is that once I receive my permanent site placement that I will settle in. I know I harp on it, but the privacy thing is a big deal. It's not just privacy, it's having my own space. Being able to cook for myself. Not sharing a bathroom with 5 others. Not having to be "on" all the time. Once I settle in, I know I will be fine. I know I am here for a reason. I don't know what the reason is - I probably won't know until long after I've left. But I certainly have some ideas. And I will pursue those. Sorry for the lengthy nature of this entry. I'm going to use it as kind of a marker to look back on as my time here passes.

~MP~